I Got Your Back
by jonsamforever
Summary: Rick and Daryl talk one night at the prison and discover that they need each other more than they know. Takes place immediately after Season 3 Episode 1. Rick/Daryl, mentions of Michonne, Merle, Hershel & the rest of the gang. Eventual OC. Warnings: Slash, Drug Use, Spoilers, Angst, AU, Same-Sex Pairing, Language, Violence.
1. I Got Your Back

**I Got Your Back**

**Rating: T  
Pairing/Characters: Rick Grimes, Daryl Dixon  
Warnings: spoilers for season 3, language, slash, same-sex pairing, AU  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

Summary: Rick and Daryl talk one night at the prison and discover that they need each other more than they know. Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing

It's late at night in the prison. Everyone in the group is asleep and the cell block is quiet. The moonlight shines in the window and creates a dim light that fills Daryl's cell. He finally decided moving into one of the cells was a better option than sleeping on that perch. He can't sleep. He rolls out of the dusty bed and turns on a flashlight which illuminates the small room. He stands and looks into a mirror on the wall left by the cell's former occupant. He reaches up and drags a hand across his cheek feeling the stubble. He stares blankly for a moment at his reflection in the dimly lit room. His mind is racing, thinking about everything the group has been through. About Sophia and Carol and Herschel's leg…..And Rick. He's grown so close to Rick in such a short time over the winter. He's come to admire Rick so much that he feels as though he'd follow the man to hell and back. When the group overtook the prison he followed Rick's lead and didn't question him, not for one second. "I can't sleep so I might as well shave now to keep myself busy." He thinks to himself. He goes through his bag and finds his hand mirror, his knife and a small cloth to wipe the blade off with. He pulls out a can of shaving cream that he picked up on the road and has been using sparingly. He sits on the edge of his bed, squeezes a small amount in his palm and rubs the foam into the side of his cheeks being careful not to get any on his goatee. Looking in his hand mirror, he holds the knife up to the side of his face about to shave.

A shadowy, familiar figure suddenly appears at the cell opening. "Couldn't sleep either huh?" Daryl looks up to see Rick standing in the doorway, his thin muscular physique illuminated by the moonlight. "It's kinda dark; you want some help with that?"

Daryl stops and looks at the man he admires so much. He wishes they were closer and he feels his stomach churn. He's glad Rick is awake also. "Sure," he says softly and slowly hands out the knife to Rick. A bit of shaving cream still lingers on the edge of the blade.

Rick takes the knife and sits on the edge of the bed next to Daryl. Daryl hands Rick the small cloth. "Glenn's keeping watch." Rick says as he scoots closer to Daryl. He holds the knife up in one hand like a music conductor holding his baton. Slowly and carefully Rick runs the blade down the side of Daryl's cheek leaving a clean strip of smooth skin. He starts to talk about his plans for the group to fill the empty silence. "It was a long hard winter but we gotta keep pushing on. We gotta keep fighting." He says. "Just like Shane said back on the farm, 'if you wanna stay alive you gotta fight.'" Rick has talked about Shane the whole winter. Daryl feels as though everything Rick does now has become a 'what would Shane do?' circumstance. Daryl can't help but feel a little jealous.

Daryl stares blankly ahead at the wall in front of him. He feels a closeness with Rick and is able to speak his feelings of discouragement freely, "Rick, what are we gonna do in here with no water and nothing to eat?"

"We'll go out. Make runs. Find supplies just like we've been doing. And if there's one positive thing from this we learned not to step over any walkers when we think they're dead. We gotta make sure we pile up all the bodies and burn them." He gently pulls Daryl's face towards his so he can start shaving his other cheek. "You know, I couldn't have done this without you." He says as he carefully drags the blade down.

"I been thinking…and I was wonderin if….." Daryl looks at Rick hanging on his next word, "If you'd take over as leader of the group."

"What? Nah man you're doin' just fine." Daryl says with abhorrence.

"I shoulda let Shane do it when he was alive. I shoulda let him take over. Maybe that's part of what drove him crazy. I don't want that to happen again."

Daryl looks at Rick, he wishes he could take all his pain away. There's a needling question in the back of his mind that he's always wanted to ask. "It was Shane that you loved wasn't it?" His voice is soft and sincere. Almost a whisper.

"Yeah…I suppose I still do"

"Well, Shane was a tough 'ol, stubborn son of a bitch," Daryl says. Rick nods as he looks down and wipes the blade clean with the cloth. "I guess you loved him for that"

Rick pauses,"Did I?" He looks down at the floor, "I loved Shane because he was my best friend. Because he took care of Lori and Carl for me while I was gone. Because he saved Carl's life when he got shot." Rick raises his head and starts speaking more directly, "Shane and I had a friendship before all this. Before the world went to hell, and _no one_ can take that away from me." He looks at Daryl and lays the knife down on the bed, "And now you and I have a friendship and I don't intend to let anything take that away from me. Not the walkers, or the end of the world, or any human enemy. And now I'm worried that the group is all stressed out and tired and they're gonna start turning against me."

Daryl reaches out and puts his hand on Rick's shoulder. "Rick you don't gotta worry about me man. I got your back." Rick looks at Daryl and a faint smile appears on his lips. His emotions overcome him. He pulls Daryl towards him and wraps his arms around the man in a loving embrace.

Rick squeezes Daryl tightly. Daryl feels the warmth and sincerity in Rick's hug and he returns it immediately. And for a moment it feels like the world will be alright. This is what Daryl has needed all along. "I'll _always_ have your back buddy." He says.


	2. Sentinel

**Sentinel  
**

Summary: After Lori's death Daryl stays with Rick all night. Takes place after the events of "Killer Within" and "Say the Word" (Season 3 episodes 4 & 5) Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing

After Lori's death Daryl watched his best friend fall to the ground crying in despair. He knew Lori was dead. The whole group did as they stood and watched in shock. Just the look on Carl's face let everyone know that Lori was gone forever.

It was then that Daryl decided he was going to do everything in his power to help his best friend overcome his grief. He couldn't lose Rick, not now. Not after everything they had been through.

Herschel helps Rick into one of the cells and lays him down in the bed. The group all gathers around in concern. Uneasiness fills the room as everyone looks at Rick, blood on his face and clothes from his vengeful, walker-killing spree. Rick reaches out and holds Carl's hand as his son stands over the bed in tears.

"Carl I want you to listen to me. Your mom was right. Now you remember what she said. She loved you very much and I want you to remember your mom the way she was. Before all this happened."

"I will dad. I promise."

"Come on he needs to rest." Herschel says. As he slowly waves everyone out.

"He's still in shock it'll probably do him good to have someone with him." He looks at Daryl. "You wanna stay?"

"I'm not leaving him." Daryl says with conviction. Herschel nods as he turns to leave. After everyone has left them alone, Daryl reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gift for his friend.

"I got somethin' for ya. Here, take these." He hands Rick three Vicodin pills.

"What are these?"

"Just a little present from the infirmary. To take the edge off"

"Three?"

"They'll help you sleep." He hands Rick a bottle of water. And Rick quickly washes them down.

Daryl sits by Rick's side all night. His back leaning up against the wall. Watching over Rick like a sentinel. The cell block is illuminated by the moonlight as Daryl watches Rick while he sleeps. Rick's slow steady breaths rise and fall in his chest. He's at peace for a moment but Daryl knows it is only temporary.

Daryl feels himself dozing off when Rick sits up in bed in the middle of the night.

"Daryl?" Rick calls out in the darkness.

"I'm here buddy," Daryl sits up and quickly crouches by Rick's bedside. He immediately reaches out and feels for Rick's arm in the dark. He moves his hand down and laces his fingers with Rick's, "I'm here."

"Daryl, I feel so elevated" He says softly with wonderment

"It's the opiates in the Vicodin buddy, I told ya it would take the edge off." He says calmly.

"You weren't kidding. Man, I wish I could feel this way in life…all the time."

He looks at Daryl's face dimly lit by the moonlight. "You stayed with me?"

"Of course I stayed with you buddy. I know how bad you're hurtin. We all know how much you loved her."

"Daryl, she never even knew it was a girl"

Daryl places a hand on Rick's shoulder. "She knew Rick," He gently strokes Rick's shoulder, "She knows now."

"We weren't getting along before all this. And we weren't getting along after Shane's death. But I never thought this would happen. I guess maybe she never loved me." Daryl looks at Rick and feels his heart breaking for him. Rick hangs his head down, "Maybe I'm unlovable."

Daryl opens his lips about to speak "Rick…I…" he stops abruptly stuttering. So afraid to say his next words. So afraid he might disaffect Rick, "I love you." He says quietly.

Rick reaches out and gently pulls Daryl's face in towards his until their lips meet. Daryl breathes in and returns the kiss passionately. Rick cups Daryl's head in his hands and Daryl feels a sensation that he's never felt before. A closeness to another human he's never experienced. He feels sparks and butterflies and fire and every emotion all at once rushing through his body. Their mouths mingle together fervently until Rick finally pulls away. "I'm so sorry Daryl." He says as he slowly lays back down.

"It's okay buddy. I'm here with you."

"Daryl please don't ever leave me." His voice raspy as a tear rolls down his cheek

"I'm here Rick," Daryl says as he squeezes his best friend's hand, "I'm not going anywhere. I've been with you through all the tough times and I'll be with you through this. Now we just need to focus on keeping that baby alive."

"Lori was right all along. She didn't wanna have this baby. I was so stupid to think it was safe. Daryl, what kind of world is this that we're livin in? I miss watching shows like King of Queens and the news on TV, and going into work everyday. And eating at Subway. God what I'd give for an ice cold coke right now."

"I miss all those things too brother."

"And my wife..I'm gonna miss my wife. This world took her from me and now there's _nothing_ left." He says angrily.

"Nonsense Rick, you've got Carl and the baby to worry about still. And we got power here now. We can take hot showers and wash our clothes." He looks at Rick "And I'll help you with the baby. You know I nicknamed her little ass kicker?"

Rick reaches up and places a hand on Daryl's cheek. His fingertips gently graze across Daryl's stubble "Daryl, I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you buddy."


	3. A Leap of Faith

**A Leap of Faith  
**

**Rating: MA**

Summary: Rick and Daryl share an intimate moment and so much more. Takes place after the events of "Killer Within" and during the events of "Say the Word" (Season 3 episodes 4 & 5) Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash

The next day Rick slept until 3 o clock in the afternoon. He needed it.

Daryl is still sitting by Rick's bedside, leaning against the wall diligently watching over Rick. Although he had managed to get a couple hours of sleep. Rick sits up in bed and squints his eyes at the natural light. "The baby? Is she alright?" He asks Daryl.

"She's fine, Maggie and Glenn are taking care of her." Daryl crouches by Rick's side and brushes his thumb against the dried blood on Rick's face, "Come on let's get you cleaned up."

The two men retreat to the prison shower room. Daryl turns on the hot water and helps Rick under the stream. Blood rinses off and pools in the drain at their feet. Daryl soaps up Rick's front with lather. The clean smell of the soap rises to Rick's nose and he starts to feel human again.

"You know, you don't have to do this Daryl. I'll be fine."

"I know man I want to."

This was the first time Rick had ever been with Daryl completely naked and he couldn't contain his excitement. Daryl was in the same state as Rick.

"Look at that we look so much alike" Daryl says looking down,"That's something isn't it?" Daryl reaches down and holds their extremities together. "Gotta be rare."

Daryl releases both men for a moment. He lathers up his hands with a bar of the prison soap and grins at Rick mischievously.

"What are you up to?" Rick smiles back

Daryl returns his hand and soaps both men up. The sensitive underside stimulating each others making Rick's knees go weak. "We gotta get em clean" He says laughing.

Although in Daryl's head he was here because he had a job to do. To take care of Rick and get him cleaned up. His libido was telling him something different. It had been so long for him, for both men. Lust took over their brains. Controlling them.

"Daryl" Rick says almost in protest but desperately not wanting him to stop. Suddenly it happens. An explosion of passion. "Yes" Rick says as his body reaches a crescendo and spasms with exhilaration. It was more than just satisfaction. There was a connection there. Daryl was his friend, his confidant. Everything he ever wanted wrapped up in one person. And now they were lovers. Whether Rick wanted to admit it or not. He could live in denial about other things but not this. The two men felt an impetuous need to care for each other. And they would take it to the end of the world if they had to. Until they were surrounded by a herd of walkers and had to take each other out if need be.

"Daryl, that was amazing." Rick says, his breath quick, his voice overflowing with fulfillment.

"Well, growin up a redneck and alone you learn to take matters into your own hands, if you know what I'm sayin."

Rick stands in the shower stream and looks into Daryl's eyes. "Come on let's finish you up and get your hair washed," Daryl says as he squeezes a large amount of shampoo into his hand and lathers it all through Rick's hair. Rick smiles as he lets his body go limp and places his hands on Daryl's shoulders for balance.

"Daryl thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything…for making me feel this way again."

"You don't have to thank me brother."

The two men finish their bathing and get dried. They stand facing each other while getting dressed. Like mirror images of each other. No more teasing. They didn't need moonlight or flowers or candy. They were men. They had been through months of foreplay together. Always looking out for each other. Always saving each other. That was their dance. Their benign caress. Undone until now. It was a new world for the both of them.

"_If only I had done this with Shane_." Rick thinks to himself. "_Maybe I wouldn't have lost him." _

His face goes sad at his speculation and his mind drifts to thoughts of Shane and Lori. The ones he loved the most, now gone.

Daryl intuitively sees the look on his friend's face and tries to comfort him.

"Rick, you're gonna miss her. Hell, not a day goes by I don't think about my brother and I didn't even _like_ him."

"It's more than just losing Lori I….I'm afraid of losing you too." He looks at Daryl, his eyes bloodshot with grief. So afraid of getting too close. So afraid of losing someone else. "I can't just lose everybody."

"Rick, I get it," Daryl says, his voice is hoarse but soft, "There is a fear of a relationship here but the realization is that, if you're willing, relationships and love are a leap of faith. How this plays out is ultimately in your hands." He places a hand on Rick's shoulder, "What we have is an alliance."

Rick's eyes overfill and a perfect teardrop streams down his check. Daryl always manages to say the right things.

"Daryl, do you have anymore of those pills?"

"The Vicodin? Well, sure there was a ton of it in the infirmary. Enough for the whole prison. But I just gave you those to take the edge off for a night."

"Can I have some more?"

"Sure buddy" Daryl says sympathetically as he reaches out and grasps Rick's hand.


	4. Daryl, My Darling

**Daryl, My Darling**

Summary: Rick gets another call from an unexpected person. Daryl tries to help Rick through his time of grief. Takes place after the events of "Hounded" (Season 3 episode 6) Rick/Daryl, Slash, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Drug Use, Language.

Daryl gives Rick a handful of Vicodin pills from the infirmary. In the back of his mind he knows it's probably not the best idea but his heart aches for Rick and this is the one small thing he can do to relieve his friend's pain. Rick quickly swallows down two pills with water and puts the rest in his pocket. "We gotta get those bodies out of there and bury them." He says.

"I can take care of that stuff, why don't you go rest now, Rick?"

"No I want to do it. I need to keep my mind off things after.."

Daryl looks at Rick, he intuitively knows there's something in his friends voice. Something more than losing Lori.

"After what?" He asks Rick.

"Daryl I…there was a phone. I picked up the phone and talked to…"

"What?"

Rick pauses for a moment, "Never mind, I'll tell you another time. We gotta get those bodies out of here"

After they took care of the bodies Rick returns to the room with the phone. Although he is happily sedated, he sits in agony, waiting in front of it. Secretly hoping it won't ring again. He knows this is just his mind's way of dealing with his grief. The minute that thought enters his head the phone suddenly rings. Rick slowly reaches out and almost reluctantly picks up the receiver.

"Rick?" Rick feels his heart jump at the familiar voice on the other end.

"Shane?"

"Yeah buddy it's me."

"Shane! I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again."

"Here I am buddy"

"Shane, Shane it's so good to hear from you. I've missed you so much."

"I miss you too buddy."

"Shane I loved you. Why'd you try to kill me?" His words slurred.

"Buddy that's why I'm calling. I need to tell you the truth. I never wanted to kill you. I wanted you to kill _me_."

"What?"

"Rick, I took you out in those woods so you'd kill me. I sacrificed myself so that you could grow stronger and keep Lori and Carl safe _always_. I figured if you could have the guts to kill your best friend then you could go through hordes of walkers, or any human enemy, without thinking twice."

Tears stream down Rick's face at the thought of this new revelation. In the back of his mind he knew it was true all along.

"Shane you did that for me?"

"Of course I did buddy. You know there was only one way to resolve the love triangle so I opted out. Hell, there wasn't even any bullets in my gun when I pointed it at you. I'm sorry I tricked you and said all those things. I didn't mean any of them."

"Shane…Lori's gone, she died while giving birth to the baby…our baby. You were right I couldn't protect her. I couldn't keep her safe"

"Now Rick that wasn't your fault. _You hear me?_ Don't you blame yourself for her death. Now you know there's nothing you could have done to prevent it."

"Yeah I know." Rick looks down,

"Shane, where are you? Can I come and see you? I'll meet you anywhere, just tell me where."

"Rick I can't tell you where I am and I'm sorry I can't be there for you. I wish I was. Everything is good here. I wish you could come see me soon but you need to stay there and take care of Carl and the baby now."

Rick swallows loudly and nods his head, "Yeah"

"Shane there's something else I gotta tell ya. Me and Daryl"

Shane's voice cuts Rick off, "I know Rick…I know. It's good buddy I'm happy for you two. You just keep on going with what you're doin man. Daryl's a good man. You got a good thing goin there." Shane's voice on the phone starts to fade.

"Alright Shane I will. Shane what happened to us?"

"Nothing man, I did it for you buddy. Killing Otis and taking care of Lori and Carl. It was all for you. Now I gotta go here. Just remember that you were all that mattered to me. I love you, Rick. I'm sorry but I have to go. I'll always love you." Click. The phone suddenly goes dead.

"Shane?" Rick says calmly as more tears stream down his face. "Shane? Don't leave me please. I can't do this without you."

Rick holds the phone by his ear for a few more moments but there is nothing but a crackling dial tone. He slowly reaches out and hangs up the phone's receiver. "I knew Shane, I knew it was true but I didn't wanna believe it" He says as he sobs softly and slowly rubs the phone. "I didn't figure it out till after it was all over. Until it was too late." He slowly gets up and walks towards the door stumbling. The Vicodin has taken over his brain. His head feels like it's stuffed with cotton candy and the room hums. His emotions are shattered. Suddenly the room spins and Rick falls to the floor knocking a stool over. Daryl hears the noise and comes running into the room. He sees Rick laying on the floor on his side. He quickly runs to where Rick lays and crouches by his side.

"Rick?" He says as he shakes his best friend and rolls him over onto his back. Rick slowly opens his eyes and looks at Daryl. He reaches out and places a hand on his friend's cheek. "Daryl?"

"I'm here buddy, you okay?" He says as he holds Rick's hand.

"I'm okay Daryl, my darling." Rick says as a tear rolls down his cheek and his hand gently cups the side of Daryl's face. Unbelievably Rick's words come out sounding masculine. To hear Rick say such words while still sounding tough was the most profound oxy-moron Daryl ever witnessed. Daryl thinks back to a time when he had overheard Rick say the same thing to Lori in a tender moment. He knew deep down that this time Rick was just as sincere. His heart felt a twinge at the words and he would hang on them until the next time they would be together.

"Man, you're high." He says as he smiles and squeezes his friend's hand. Hershel suddenly hobbles through the door to check on all the commotion.

"What happened?" Hershel says.

"It's nothing" Daryl says as he helps his friend up on his feet.

"I'm fine I just tripped that's all." Rick says slurring his words as he walks off and leaves the room. Hershel looks at Daryl like a parent scolding a child that's just done something wrong. "What's going on here Daryl what's gotten into him? Is he drunk?"

Daryl looks at Hershel for a few moments before he finally confesses. "It's no big deal I gave him some of the Vicodin from the infirmary. Ya know,, to take the edge off him."

"Daryl, do you think that's a good idea?"

"I didn't know what else to do; I know how bad he's hurtin"

"You're playing with fire here. Do you know he's liable to become addicted? From the looks of it he's becoming a pill popper already"

Daryl puts his head in his hands and kicks the stool on the ground. It slides across the floor and crashes into the wall. "Give him a break. The man just lost his wife for Christ sake!" Daryl yells defending his friend, his emotions palpable. Daryl looks at Hershel with anger in his eyes as a sharp silence fills the room. Hershel nods at the man, turns his back and slowly hobbles out the door as Daryl watches.


	5. I Need You

**I Need You  
**

**Rating: M**

Summary: Rick is addicted to drugs. Crazy things happen at Woodbury. (Contains Some Canon) Takes place after the events of "When the Dead Come Knocking" and during the events of "Made to Suffer" (Season 3 episodes 7 & 8) Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash, Drug Use, Language, Spoilers

Before Rick takes his group out to rescue Glenn and Maggie he talks with Daryl privately. "Please Daryl I need them." He pleads with his friend for more pills.

"Rick, you don't need them. I'm not giving you anymore."

"Fine, I'll just go to the infirmary and get them myself."

"Damn it Rick, Hershel's pissed. He knows I gave you those pills."

"Daryl, what have I got to stay sober for?"

Daryl pulls out a dry handkerchief from his pocket. He reaches up and wipes the sweat off Rick's forehead, "Well, there's Carl, and the baby ," He places his hand on Rick's shoulder, "And Rick, there's me. I care about you a great deal. Probably more than you know. I reached out to you and you're the only person in my life that ever accepted it."

Rick's face softens as he looks at Daryl, "You're right Daryl. I'm sorry, I'm just going through a tough time."

"I know, Rick but you've been strong for so long you just gotta keep being strong."

Rick hugs his best friend tightly. Daryl always says the right things, although in the back of Rick's head he feels a craving for more Vicodin to dull his pain. Daryl hugs his friend back and slowly lets go. "So, back out on the road again?"

"Yeah," Rick laughs softly, "I keep thinking about back on the farm. Every time I would have to leave, Lori would complain. She was so worried something would happen to me."

"I don't blame her." Daryl says with a new understanding. A closeness to Rick that can't be undone. "Now I'm here for ya buddy."

Rick looks into Daryl's serene blue eyes. He feels a tug at his heart. He suffers a love for Daryl that is so strong, so emotive that words can't describe it. So he tries to change the subject and make light of their conversation, "Is it too insane to say that I miss your dick?" He says jocundly.

"You'd be crazy not to." Daryl says and they both bust out laughing. "We're practically twins." Daryl says finally as he playfully slaps his friend on the back before they leave to pack up the Hyundai. Rick quietly saunters off alone where no one can see. He secretly digs into his pocket for the last few Vicodin pills that Daryl gave him the day before. He quickly swallows them down with a bottle of water.

By the car the group is packing supplies to bring out on the road for the rescue mission. Carl and Daryl throw two bags in the back trunk. "Hey, don't worry about your 'ol man. I'll look out for him" Daryl says to Carl before he slams the back hatch shut.

* * *

"Daryl, this was Merle." Glen says, blood pouring from his mouth. One of his eyes bruised and swollen shut.

"My brother's this governor?"

"No, he's somebody else. Your brother's his lieutenant or something." Maggie says.

"We gotta get back." Rick says, panic in his voice.

Daryl looks at Rick, "If Merle's around I need to see him."

"Not now we're in hostile territory."

"But Rick, I gotta talk to him. I gotta work something out."

"You're not thinking straight. Glen can barely walk. How are we gonna make it out? If we get overrun by walkers or this governor catches up to us, _I need you_. Are you with me?"

Daryl pauses and looks at his friend. There's no way he can say no to Rick's handsome face. And he knows Rick is right. "Yeah" He says, choosing the man he loves over his brother.

* * *

Several members of the governor's team shoot at Rick's group as they make their escape. Glen, Maggie, Daryl, Oscar. Rick's instincts kick into survival mode. He crouches down and shoots several warning shots at his enemies. He looks into the darkness and sees a shadowy figure emerge. The silhouette gets closer and Rick squints his eyes until he sees him. Shane! It's Shane. "Shane!" Rick cries out. Shane raises his gun and shoots Oscar in the side. "Shane, don't shoot. It's me, Rick." Rick stands up and slowly walks towards Shane in a trance-like state. The pain killers have impaired Rick's mind.

Daryl sees what's happening and tries to call out to Rick. "Rick, stop!"

"Shane it's me. I've missed you so much. I love you." Rick says as he stumbles towards Shane and slowly opens his arms. Shane raises his weapon and shoots Rick with perfect aim.

"Noooo!" Daryl screams out as he raises his bow. His arrow hits the governor's henchman in the head and he falls to the ground dead immediately. "Rick!" Daryl runs over to where Rick lay on the ground. "God damn it, Rick I told you you didn't need any more of those pills!"He says as he picks Rick's body up and slings it over his shoulder. His adrenaline pumping. No time to think. He joins the rest of the group and together they rest in a safe place away from the gunfire. Daryl lays Rick's body on his back in the soft grass. He crouches over his best friend sobbing uncontrollably. Rick's body lies motionless covered in blood. His eyes open but lifeless.

The group gathers around and watches in shock. Maggie looks down, "Daryl, he's dead we gotta go. Just leave him."

"He's not!" Daryl screams angrily. He cups the side of Rick's face with his hand. Blood everywhere. "He needs me! Rick wake up! _You need me_! _You need me_!" He shouts furiously. He squeezes his eyelids shut and tears fall endlessly onto Rick's body below. "_I_ need you." He says softly. He sits for one more moment by Rick's side quietly sobbing as the group looks on in disbelief. He looks up at Maggie and Glenn. He can't bear the pain at this moment and he feels there is only one way to end his suffering quickly. He reaches behind and grabs the small gun he's carrying in his back pocket. He suddenly holds the gun to his own head. Pressing the gun's barrel tightly to his temple.

"Nooo!" Glen says as he instinctively kicks the gun from Daryl's hand. The gun flies through the air and lands on the ground. It makes a noise as it skids across the soft grass. "You gotta go back." Glenn yells. Daryl crumples in a heap over Rick's body, still sobbing.

"I'm not leaving him." He says as he holds tightly onto his best friend's body, Rick's blood mingling with his sweat.


	6. That's When I Knew

**That's When I Knew  
**

Summary: The group returns to the prison with Rick's body. Takes place after "Made To Suffer" (season 3 episode 8) Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Slash, Drug Use.

Despite the groups protests Daryl brought Rick's body all the way back to the prison with them. He couldn't leave his best friend to rot by that awful place. To turn and become one of those _things_. A walker who's only ambition would be to search for food and turn god knows who else into another one just like it. He held Rick's body in the backseat of the Hyundai. Rocking him back and forth as Michonne sat next to them and looked on. She had returned to their group before they left Woodbury, her face covered in blood. Daryl didn't even want to know what happened. All he could think about right now was Rick.

As the group returns to the prison Hershel, Beth, Carol and Carl run out to the Hyundai to greet them. Hershel's eyes fill with shock and horror as he sees Daryl carrying Rick. Rick's lifeless body is slumped like a rag doll as Daryl holds it up, Rick's arm over his shoulder. Hershel walks over to Daryl, "I'm sorry son." He says sorrowfully. He reaches out and presses his fingers into the side of Rick's neck. He holds them there for a moment. "He's alive!" He suddenly screams out. A sense of urgency abruptly grips everyone "Oh god" Daryl cries out. Carol immediately puts Rick's free arm over her shoulder and together they quickly drag Rick into the prison. "His pulse is weak but he's not dead!" Hershel exclaims as he hobbles alongside. They lay his body down on one of the cell beds. "We gotta act fast if we're gonna save him. Carol, I need my kit, painkillers, coagulates, all the clean bandages you can find and whatever alcohol is left from the infirmary." Carol immediately goes into action. "Daryl I'm gonna do everything I can. Trust me. Beth can you bring me a chair?" Beth leaves the cell quickly to fetch a chair. "Glen, are you alright?" Hershel calls out as he suddenly notices Glen's wounds.

"I'll be alright, just work on Rick first." Glen says with determination, his mouth clenched tight.

Time seems to pass by so slowly waiting to find out if Rick makes it. Daryl sits calmly at a table in the Prison's cafeteria. His head down, his hands clasped together, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Carl comes into the dimly lit room and slowly walks up to Daryl. "Daryl, don't worry." Daryl lifts his head and Carl sees his bloodshot eyes full of tears. Daryl turns to face Carl, "Hershel saved my life once. My Dad's gonna be okay. I know he is." Daryl reaches out and hugs Carl tightly and sobs into his shoulder. Daryl knows in the back of his mind that if Rick doesn't make it he will continue to raise his friend's boy with all the love that Rick had. Daryl always felt he and Carl had a lot in common. Carl like an adult-child and Daryl, a child-like adult. Daryl just holds on tightly to Carl, his emotions raw. No further words were spoken.

* * *

"He's gonna make it." Hershel says to Daryl as he comes into the cafeteria, "The bullet went clean through his shoulder. It did not puncture his lung."

Daryl stands up and smiles the biggest smile. "It looks good. It looks real good," Hershel says happily, "You can go in and see him now, he's awake." Daryl feels the life coming back into him and a sense of happiness he hasn't felt in years. He hugs Hershel and runs in to see Rick. He crouches by Rick's bedside. Rick lays in the bed shirtless; a bandage covers his entire left shoulder from his neck down to his pectoral. Daryl holds Rick's hand "Hey how you doing buddy?" He says softly. Rick groggily sits up. "I've seen better days but I'll live I guess." He half laughs. He looks into Daryl's eyes. He can see the worry in them. "Daryl, it's okay I'm gonna be alright. How are Glenn and Maggie?"

"They're fine, Rick, Jesus you gave us a scare."

Rick reaches out and cups his hand to the side of Daryl's cheek. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry man. I was just worried is all. Shit we thought you were dead. Maggie even wanted to leave you."

"She did? Well, hell I woulda left me there too." He says laughing as a pain fills his shoulder. He can tell he's gonna be sore for a while. "Daryl, I saw Shane" he says suddenly confessing.

"You what?"

"I saw Shane. It was like I imagined him, the guy who shot me. He looked like Shane. Daryl, am I losing my mind?"

Daryl looks at his friend and tries to reassure him the best he can. "No Rick, you're not losing your mind. That was just the effects of those damn pills. I knew I should never have given them to you. It was _my_ fault."

"Daryl don't blame yourself for that, I'm the one who took them, no one held a gun to my head. I'm just worried I'm losing my marbles. What's gonna happen to me Daryl?"

"Shhh," Daryl reaches out and runs his hand through Rick's hair comforting him. "It's okay now Rick, you're safe with me. Everything's gonna be alright." He rubs Rick's head like a child. "You know, you remember that time I fell off nervous Nellie and got an arrow though me, back at the farm?"

"Yeah."

"I saw my brother then, well, I imagined him"

"No way" Rick says, an amused look on his face.

"It's true. I never told anyone about it before."

"Did he talk to you?"

"He sure did, he talked about you. He was pissed and blamed you for leavin' him on that roof. I told him we went back for him. Said you did right by him"

Rick cocks his head and looks at his friend lovingly. Enjoying the feeling of his best friend stroking his head softly. "Rick, I gotta tell you, that's when I knew."

"Knew what?"

"That I loved you."

Rick scoots over in the bed as far as he can to the wall, "Come here," He says as he gestures for Daryl to join him in the small bed. Daryl immediately gets into the bed beside Rick with his back to him. Rick reaches his arm around his friend and the two men spoon quietly. Not caring if anyone sees them. Rick reaches up and starts to stroke Daryl's hair like Daryl was just doing to him. "I love you too, Daryl" He says softly into Daryl's ear as the two men fall asleep.


	7. A Wounded Warrior

**A Wounded Warrior**

Summary: Rick talks to Michonne. **  
**

The next morning Rick wakes up with his arm still around Daryl. He swears it was the best sleep he ever had, holding his friend close. He lifts his head off the bed and looks to see Daryl still sleeping peacefully. He reaches up and softly strokes Daryl's hair as Daryl slowly wakes up. "Mmmm." Daryl says as he sits up in the bed and hangs his legs over the edge. Rick gently rubs Daryl's back as he stretches his arms in the air. "Mmm that was the best sleep I've had in like forever."

"Wasn't it?" Rick proclaims.

Daryl turns around to face Rick. "Yes it was buddy." He leans down and kisses his best friend softly. He stands and looks into the mirror on the wall. "Jeez I've seen better days." He says as he wipes at a smudge of dirt on his cheek. "Imma go take a shower. You comin?"

"I will later. I want to go talk to Michonne first. She came to see me before you did, I haven't even really had a chance to get to know her yet."

"That's something I wanted to tell you, Rick. She went missing when we were leaving Woodbury. She eventually came back and joined us but I didn't know where she was or what she was up to. I was too worried about you so I didn't ask her."

Rick looks at Daryl, puzzled by Michonne's disappearance. "Okay, I'll ask her about it."

* * *

Rick walks up to Michonne's cell and catches her looking in a full length mirror on the wall. He stands silently at the cell door and watches for a moment. She does some sort of fancy sword move. Her body moves gracefully as she holds the sword above her head. She suddenly notices Rick watching behind her in the mirror's reflection and turns around startled.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to.." Rick says holding his hand up.

"It's okay," She says as she reaches back and replaces her sword in its holder. "What did you want?"

Rick looks at Michonne. "Daryl told me about how you went missing at Woodburry while we escaped."

She looks down at the ground "Yeah" She says quietly

"You wanna tell me where you were?"

She looks back up and into Rick's burning eyes. "How about I tell you another time?"

"Fair enough," Rick says. He turns to leave but stops himself for a moment. "Michonne, I have to ask…what did you do before all this?" He says as he swirls his finger in a circle in the air.

"I was a lawyer."

"A lawyer?" Rick asks shocked.

Michonne gradually sits down on the side of the small bed. She slowly tells Rick her story. "When all this started, I made a _choice_….in order to survive I would have to change my persona. And the person that I chose to be was a _warrior_."

Rick looks into her stunning brown eyes like he was looking into her soul. He believed every word she said. Like a bad dream that had come true he knew every survivor had a similar story to tell. One of heartbreak and despair. He didn't want to know any more. "Well," He looks at her with a faint smile, "I'm a _wounded_ warrior," He says as he holds his hand over his bandaged shoulder.

Michonne stands up facing him, "So am I," She says as she holds her hand over her heart.


	8. True Love's Kiss

**True Love's Kiss  
**

Summary: Rick and Daryl go out looking for more formula. Takes place after "Made To Suffer" Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash.

The next day Rick and Daryl plan to go out looking for more baby formula.

"We gotta go look for more formula." Rick says to Daryl stoutly

"Let me go alone. I can do it. You need to rest that shoulder. You almost died. And I told you I'd help you take care of the baby."

"I want to go. It's my baby and I need to start taking care of it myself."

Daryl looks at Rick and finally nods. He doesn't like it but he doesn't want to fight with Rick. "You win buddy. We'll go today."

* * *

The two men come upon what looks like a party store in a strip mall. A Laundromat is next door. They park the Hunyadi and Rick gets out of the car slowly. He squints as he shields his eyes from the sunlight studying the outside of the small store from a short distance. "Looks like a little party store. Doesn't seem like it was looted. There's bound to be some formula in there." As they walk up to the doors of the store Rick sees a sign in the window '_Hot Pizza Slices.'_ His mind drifts back to a time before the apocalypse when food was readily available.

"God I haven't had pizza in…" His voice trails off.

"I know buddy." Daryl says, "Me either."

They stop just outside the doors and Rick looks at his best friend. "Daryl, what was the last thing you ate..ya know before all this?" He asks quizzingly

Daryl looks at Rick, he likes this game because it reminds him of the life that once was. "I dunno what was the last thing you had?"

"Last thing I had?" Rick pauses and thinks for a moment before answering "Had to be a burger and fries with Shane in the squad car. Yeah I remember cuz that was right before I went into the coma. I woke up and everything had changed."

Daryl has a surprised look on his face. "I had a burger too. With my brother. See, me and you _are_ alike. Even before all this happened." He says sincerely.

"You mean you didn't eat squirrel before all this?" Rick asks jokingly.

"Not like this." Daryl says as they both crack up. Daryl's mind suddenly wanders as he thinks about his feelings for Rick. At this point he isn't even sure if he _wants_ to see Merle again or not. He knows what Merle did to Glenn and Maggie and Rick has been more of a brother to him than Merle ever was. Merle would just give him shit about their relationship. He thinks about how close he just came to losing his friend. He doesn't know what he would do without Rick in his life at this point. A sad look suddenly appears on Daryl's face but not for the reasons Rick thinks.

Rick places his hand on Daryl's shoulder. "Don't worry we're gonna go back and find him." Daryl nods. "Hey, it's okay buddy. Don't worry about it." Rick says to his friend reassuring him. "I'll take care of it man…I'll take care of you."

"I know it's just…" Daryl's voice trails off for a moment before he continues. "I thought I lost you man." Tears fill his eyes and start to fall down his cheeks.

"Shhh, Daryl it's okay" Rick says as he pulls his friend in and hugs him tightly. "I'm here Daryl, I'm not goin anywhere now. We're together and nothing's gonna change that." Daryl cries into Rick's shoulder for a moment as Rick strokes his hair before he regains his composure. He slowly pulls away and looks into Rick's blue eyes. Rick leans in and kisses Daryl's lips, softly at first then more aggressive. Sparks fly as their mouths connect and the two men feel as one together. Daryl compellingly kisses Rick back. His emotions are so strong. Their pulses abruptly race as their hearts pound for each other. Nothing can break their bond. The two men finally break apart and Rick looks at Daryl almost shocked at the passion he feels for the man. "Daryl..I've never." He stops for a minute, his breathing is quick. "I've never been kissed like that before. Not by Lori, not by anyone."

"I hope that's a good thing." Daryl says almost joking but just as short of breath as Rick is.

"It's an amazing thing." Rick says seriously. "It's like when you kiss me… it feels like I'm doing it for the first time, like when it was all fresh and new."

Daryl looks at Rick. "When you kiss me.. it feels like I'm being _healed_." He says as his breathing steadies. The two men are thoroughly stunned at the heat they're experiencing. Rick doesn't know what else to say. He stands there and enjoys the moment feeling as if he could spend the rest of his life with this man and be the happiest he's ever been. Just the two of them together.

"Alright buddy let's go look for some din din for little ass-kicker." Daryl finally says, changing the subject. Rick flashes Daryl his gorgeous smile and they both enter the store.


	9. Shaifiq

**Shafiq  
**

Summary: Rick and Daryl go out looking for more formula. Takes place after "Made To Suffer" Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Slash.

As Rick and Daryl enter the store they immediately notice how clean everything appears. They slowly walk down the aisles searching for formula. The shelves appear oddly stocked. Rick's been on runs before and stores like this are usually ransacked and what merchandise that is left is usually pretty dusty after almost a year. He notices several cans of coffee stacked neatly on top of each other. He reaches his hand out and wipes it across the top of one of the cans. It is completely clean.

"Yo Rick, score." Daryl says as he holds up a can of powdered baby formula. He whistles and throws the can underhanded at Rick as Rick catches the can. Suddenly they hear a noise coming from the back room.

"Walker!" Rick says as he drops the can of baby formula on the floor and spins his body towards the sound. Both men hold up their weapons steady, pointing at the room's open doorway. A young Middle Eastern man slowly emerges from the doorway, showing himself. Possibly in his late 20s or early 30s, Rick assumes. Rick's breathing quickens as he aims his gun at the man. The man raises his arms to the ceiling. He has prominent features. His striking, caramel colored skin is flawless. His head is covered with a thick mane of shortly cropped, black hair. Rick immediately notices the man's stunning dark brown eyes and a thick beard that is neatly trimmed. He is wearing a light grey sweater with an upturned collar and a zipper in the front. Light beige cargo pants cover his muscular legs. He looks preppy, immaculately clean. Standing at around 5'10" with a medium frame. He is not big enough to overtake Rick and Daryl.

"Please don't shoot" He looks into Rick's eyes pleading. "I mean no harm, please."

Rick looks at the man carefully, studying his features. He is intrigued by him. "My father owned this store before..well before the dead came to life."

"Was he bit?" Rick asks.

"No, we ran the store together. He was killed by a robber about six months before all this started. Please don't shoot me. You can take whatever you want. I mean no one any harm." His voice is pleading but soothing. Rick hears a twinge of Middle Eastern accent lingering.

Rick looks over at Daryl and back at the man, "You live here all alone?"

"Yes… well, there were others. No family but…" His voice trails off.

"But they're all dead. Yeah." Rick says understandably as he nods. Sorrow in his voice.

Rick feels a trusting with this man that he can't explain. He slowly lowers his gun. The man still stands frozen with his arms in the air. Rick has a sense of sadness for the man. He's not stupid; he knows that living in the south the man must have faced some horrible discrimination from white southerners. From the pain in the young man's voice Rick senses that he must have suffered many hardships before the apocalypse even happened. Rick nods and the man lowers his arms at ease.

Daryl still stands with his bow aimed at the ready, pointed at the man. Rick reaches up and slowly pushes Daryl's bow down. "Daryl, take it easy." He says softly.

Daryl stops and looks at the young man's clothing. "You're so clean." He says amazed.

"I live in the apartment above this store. There's a bathroom and a shower. We also owned the Laundromat next door. We have a generator back up. I've gone out on runs to collect as much gas as I could to keep them running for what I needed."

"You went out there all alone?" Rick asks

"Yes." The man says as he gestures to a wall with several makeshift weapons hanging on it. The weapons Rick sees are pretty rudimentary but they must have gotten the job done. Blood still visible on some of them, most of them simple tools, A hammer, a shovel, some sort of knife. No guns. "I've become good at killing the dead" the man says "but believe me I'm no threat. It's good to see other survivors."

"We call them walkers." Rick says to the man. He nods.

"How did you survive all this time?" Rick says suspiciously

"Before all this happened I was a grad student at the University of Georgia, my major was horticulture."

Rick looks at Daryl and then back at the man "So?" He says not understanding

The man gestures for them to follow him out the back door. Rick and Daryl humor him. As the young man opens the door Rick can hardly believe his eyes. A fairly large garden flourishes with every kind of vegetable you could think of. Rick squints in the sunlight as he sees rows of cucumbers, melons, tomatoes, peppers, summer squash, carrots, potatoes and on and on.

Rick suddenly pictured this garden at the prison and he realized that he wanted to bring the young man back with them.

After admiring the garden Rick looks at the man, "Horticulture!" He says matter-of-factly.

"What's your name?" Rick finally asks

"Shafiq"

"Well Shafiq, how would you feel about living safe from the walkers in a prison?"

* * *

Rick and Daryl arrive at the prison with Shafiq. On the way back to the prison, Rick explained everything to Shafiq about the group's story, the prison, the farm. Everything they had been through, about how Hershel lost his leg, about how he had lost Lori. He talked about his life before as a police officer. He left out no details. Shafiq in turn shared his story with Rick and Daryl. How he was a graduate student at the University of Georgia until everything started. About his efforts made to get good grades and please his father. About how he lost all his friends after the apocalypse. About how he still devoutly fasted for Ramadan even though the world ended. Rick felt a vibe in Shafiq that he could tell him anything. After listening to Shafiq talk, he felt that Shafiq was a good man who was just struggling to be happy and do everything right until the world ended. And he felt a connection to him. That they were both just good people with their own personal problems but the end of the world seemed to have given them a bigger purpose. A new more important purpose: survival. Rick wanted to take Shafiq under his wing, he was a strong man but gentle and kind. Rick felt Shafiq could benefit from the group and vice versa. Shafiq wanted to come with them. After living alone for so long he felt desperate for human interaction. Rick told him about Herschel and Shafiq was anxious to meet a farmer and discuss growing food at the prison.

Rick introduces Shafiq to everyone as they all gather around excitedly. Michonne stands back and looks on through the bars of one of the cells. She takes everything in. She studies Shafiq, his movements, his clothing, his face. He is strikingly handsome and she finds herself attracted to him. She thinks back to her life before this. Her relationships with the men she loved and she wishes she could enjoy that time again. A sad look comes over her face as she feels the warrior inside her slowly melting away. Her daydream is broken as Rick and Shafiq suddenly approach her. "Michonne I want to introduce you. This is Shafiq." Shafiq extends a friendly hand to her, smiling.

"Nice to meet you." She says in her normal, skeptical tone of voice. She reaches out and shakes his hand firmly as she looks into his eyes.

_*Notes* This story contained my first ever OC, Shafiq. Shafiq's physical appearance was modeled after this man: watch?v=mn6xQPvsjJk  
_


	10. He's Not You

**He's Not You  
**

Summary: The addition of Shafiq to the group creates tension between Rick and Daryl. Takes place after "Made To Suffer" (season 3 episode 8) Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash, Drug Use.

The next morning Daryl awakens to the bright light shining in the windows of the prison. He sits up in his small bed thinking about all the fuss that the group made over Shafiq yesterday. He stands up and stretches his back then slowly makes his way to the prison's shower room. As he walks past Rick's cell he peeks in to see him sleeping peacefully. He watches for a moment intently as Rick's chest slowly rises and falls. He is shirtless, the bandage still covers most of his chest. He feels a desire to wake him. To ask Rick if he wants to shower with him but he fights the urge and lets Rick sleep. Daryl stands in the shower waiting for Rick. Hoping, wishing that Rick will join him like the last time they showered together. Daryl has held onto that moment. Sometimes he feels like he's held onto it so much that it's been what has kept him alive. He stands facing the wall directly under the shower head while his mind drifts to thoughts of Rick. His soft hair, his blue eyes, his leadership. He thinks that Rick will never truly belong to him. He's never really experienced love in his life, it's always been elusive, always slipping through his fingers. And now he feels with Rick it is no different. He pushes his feelings for Rick to the back of his head because if he goes one more moment with it he'll cry. He places both hands on the wall and enjoys the feeling of the warm water rushing over his body. A song from his adolescence suddenly pops into his head and he inadvertently breaks into song. "I wanna live." He sings, doing his best Neil Young impersonation. He suddenly hears a voice from behind him continue the song. He turns around to see Rick.

"I wanna give." Ricks slowly sings as he walks up to Daryl without a stitch on, finishing the verse. His shoulder still bandaged. The two men gaze into each others eyes as the steam from the water envelops them.

"I've been a miner for a heart of gold." Daryl sings, finally finishing the chorus looking at Rick grinning.

Rick's blue eyes sparkle as he reaches out and pulls Daryl towards him out of the shower spray. "You're _my_ heart of gold." He says and he softly kisses him on the lips.

Daryl smiles, "Come get in here with me." He says as he pulls Rick's arm.

"I can't get the bandage wet."

Daryl looks at the bandage, pondering for a moment,"That's okay we'll just get creative." He moves the shower head and points it at Rick's crotch. They both laugh as the water hits Rick's body, the water running down his legs. His body hair wet and slick to his skin. Here, stay like that Daryl says as he approaches Rick and washes all the areas he can with a bar of soap. "This turning into a regular thing? You washing me?" Rick says laughing.

"I don't know. I guess if you keep getting hurt."

"I won't get hurt anymore. I have you to protect me." He runs his hand over Daryl's chest. The two men stand facing each other. Daryl looks into Rick's eyes. "I could stay here all day with you like this Daryl"

"Me too buddy" Daryl says as the steam from the hot water rises above their heads. They look into each others eyes.

"Give me that." Rick says playfully as he breaks their gaze and grabs the bar of soap from Daryl's hand. He lathers his friend's chest up. "I'm gonna wash you for a change." He says jokingly, being careful not to let the water hit his bandage. The two men jump suddenly when they hear someone enter the communal shower. They both look up startled to see Shafiq standing naked holding a folded towel in his hands.

"Where can I hang this?" He asks.

"There are hooks by every shower head." Rick says as he motions to the wall.

Shafiq walks forward hangs his towel on the hook right next to Rick and Daryl's and turns on the hot water. He was not shocked by what he saw. He sensed that the two men were close friends. He had friends like that in college. He felt a sadness remembering everything he lost.

Rick and Daryl look at each other and continue their shower like nothing happened. They both talk with Shafiq. Asking him questions. Shafiq didn't mind answering, telling the two men about his former life. Rick flashes Daryl an evil grin. It's a signal to Daryl, letting him know they will continue their escapade later. Rick looks over at Shafiq noticing his fit body. His skin is a beautiful brown, his muscular chest covered in a thick mat of black hair. It glistens as the soapy water runs over it and down past his six pack abs. He is a stunningly handsome man. Just as handsome as Daryl he thinks to himself. But in a different way. Daryl notices Rick staring and turns his shower off. He covers himself with his towel and slowly walks out of the room leaving Rick standing all alone with Shafiq. "Isn't it hard not to get the bandage wet?' Shafiq asks

"It's not that bad, I have help from Daryl" He says pointing to the now empty space beside him.

"I can help with your backside if you like" Shafiq says looking into Rick's sky blue eyes.

Rick can't deny he feels a burning desire inside himself for this man

"Sure," Rick says as he hands Shafiq his bar of soap. Shafiq gingerly soaps up Rick's back being careful not to get any on his bandage. He slowly moves down to Rick's buttocks washing it carefully. Rick breathes in as he takes pleasure in Shafiq's touch. Rick turns around and faces Shafiq. His excitement is noticeable. His body loves the sensations but he just can't do this. Shafiq reaches out and gently wraps his fingers around Rick's manhood. It throbs and leaks fluid in Shafiq's hand. Rick suddenly grabs Shafiq's wrist stopping him from going any further. Shafiq looks into his eyes like a puppy being scolded.

"I'm so sorry Shafiq. I want to, I really do. But my loyalty is with Daryl. I care about him so much…. more than I've cared about anyone in a long time. He's very special to me."

"I understand" Shafiq says with an acknowledging look in his eyes. He knows the feeling.

Rick slowly backs away from Shafiq. He wraps a towel around his waist and leaves the shower room to look for Daryl.

Rick approaches Daryl's cell to find Daryl dressing, putting his arms through the hols of his sleeveless shirt. "Why'd you leave buddy?" He asks, half afraid of the answer.

"You and Shafiq!" Daryl says as he buttons up his shirt. A noticeable tinge of jealousy and sarcasm in his voice

"Daryl it's not like that. I guess I just feel a connection with Shafiq. It's hard to explain.

"What about _our _connection?" Daryl asks

"What about it? It never went away buddy." Rick says reassuringly as he strokes Daryl's sleeveless arm. "Daryl, look at me. Nothing happened and nothing's gonna happen." He continues to touch his friend "It's you that I care about. Hell man you've been so loyal to me how could I even think about doing it with anyone else? You've helped me with the baby...and Carl. I won't ever forget that."

Daryl looks into his friend's eyes and he knows it's true. Rick is the most sincere and noble man he's ever met. He loves him for that. "Hell, I know Rick, I just…." He looks into Rick's deep blue eyes and the pain in his voice is palpable " I just can't help but be jealous is all."

"Daryl trust me, you have nothing to be jealous of."

"He's a good lookin guy" Daryl says admittedly

"Yes he is but there's something he doesn't have."

"What's that?" Daryl asks

"He's not you."


	11. 100 Suns

**100 Suns**

Over the next couple of days Daryl notices that there's something off about Rick. He has been sleeping more than usual and spending a lot of time in his cell. He is afraid that Rick might be taking the pain pills again. He comes into Rick's cell in the morning to see him. The bright light from the morning sun fills Rick's prison cell. He crouches by Rick's bedside. "Hey buddy, how are you?" He says softly as Rick slowly wakes up in bed. "I'm fine, just not feeling too hot is all." Rick says squinting as he holds up his hand, shielding his eyes from the morning light.

Daryl places his hand on Rick's forehead. "Jesus, you're burning up buddy!" He says urgently

Rick coughs. "I'll be fine, Daryl, don't worry about me." But Daryl is worried about him.

Daryl immediately consults with Herschel.

Herschel goes in to see Rick and make sure everything is okay. Daryl waits outside Rick's cell fearing the worst. Herschel finally hobbles out of the cell on his crutches to talk with Daryl alone.

"He's got an infection." Herschel says

"What?"

"I told you. His wound has become infected. Pretty badly at that."

"But what about the bandages? He's been changing them everyday. And even…even with alcohol?"

"Yes." Herschel says as he looks at Daryl's surprised face. "I'm sorry but sometimes bacteria just gets deep into the wound." He says slowly. "There's nothing we can do about it now. The infection has already set in. It doesn't look good. Honestly unless we do something, he doesn't have much time left."

"Well we gotta do something!" Daryl shouts angrily

"I don't know what to do. I've got plenty of painkillers here but no antibiotics."

"So he'd get better if we had some antibiotics?"

Herschel nods

"Well we'll just go out and find some then."

Shafiq approaches the two men and interrupts "I know of a place that has some."

Daryl and Herschel both look at Shafiq surprised

"You do?" Daryl asks

"Yes, there's a pharmacy not far from my father's store. I used to go there. I know it hasn't been ransacked yet. Well, not by anyone but me. I can take you there if you like, I know exactly where it is."

"Alright man well what are we waiting for?" Daryl says as he walks past Shafiq. He goes into his cell and grabs his bow. He's determined to save Rick now. After everything they've been through he's not about to let his friend die over a common infection. He packs a small bag and he and Shafiq quickly load the Hunyadi up with some supplies.

"I gotta say goodbye to Rick" Daryl says.

Daryl comes into Rick's cell to find him resting peacefully. Rick is lying on his back shirtless and covered in sweat. His bandage still covers the side of his chest all the way up to his shoulder. Herschel placed a cloth soaked in cool water on his forehead. Herschel explained everything to Rick about their plans to go look for some antibiotics for him. Daryl watches Rick's hairy chest slowly rise and fall for a moment before waking his friend to say goodbye. "Hey Rick." He says as he places a hand softly on Rick's chest.

"Hey buddy." Rick says coughing as he slowly sits up in the bed. He looks so weak and defenseless lying sick in the bed and it makes Daryl love him even more.

"We're leaving now. Is there anything you want us to look for while we're out?"

"No man I think I have everything I need."

"I'm worried about you buddy. You're gonna hang in there for me while I'm gone right?"

"I'll be fine here, just me and Judith. We'll keep each other company." Rick nods over at the makeshift crib that the two men had picked up over the winter. Long before Lori passed. Judith is sleeping peacefully.

"Rick, I'm gonna do everything I can to find you medicine buddy, get you better."

Rick looks up into Daryl's eyes. "Daryl what can I say? You've been so good to me. The way I feel about you now is so strong….it's like 100 suns….shining at the same time. And I realize now that there's no life for me without you." He says as tears start to run down his cheeks. Daryl reaches down and strokes Rick's arm. He leans down and hugs Rick tightly in the small bed. Daryl starts to cry too. "Daryl, Stop that now I'll be fine."

"Damn right you're gonna be fine. " Daryl says as he pulls away and regains his composure, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his fist. "We'll be back as soon as we can okay?"

"Okay" Rick says as Daryl stands up. It takes everything he has to slowly turn around and walk out the cell door. Shafiq is standing outside waiting for him.

"You're not gonna take a gun?" Daryl asks

"No I'll be fine with this." Shafiq says as he holds up one of his makeshift weapons from the store.

"Alright then" Daryl says approvingly.

As the two men walk towards the outside door Daryl sees Carol waiting to say goodbye. "Shafiq go on ahead and wait for me by the car." Daryl says as he waves Shafiq on. Shafiq complies and slowly walks out the door leaving Daryl and Carol alone in silence. Carol looks at Daryl in the dimly lit hallway of the prison. "Do you have to go?" She says. The concern in her voice is immeasurable.

"Carol, I'll be fine. We won't be gone long. Shafiq says he knows exactly where the place is. Plus he's a tough son of a bitch. He survived for months all on his own without any guns."

"I know it's just.." She looks at Daryl and her eyes well up. She knows Daryl needs to do this for Rick. She has seen how close the two men have become. All through winter and up until now.

"Shhh,." Daryl says as he reaches up and gently touches her cheek. "You'll be fine. You got the new group to protect you, Tyreese and the others. And I know no walkers are gonna get in here with Michonne around." Carol gives Daryl a half smile but the pain is visible in her heart. Daryl turns to leave.

"I'll go with you." She suddenly shouts out to Daryl. He turns around and looks at her. He knows she cares about him and Rick and she'd do anything she could to help out. He reaches out and holds her hand "No, we'll be fine, Carol." He says softly. He leans down and kisses her on the cheek before turning around and slowly walking out the door. She runs towards the window and watches as Daryl and Shafiq both get into the Hunyadi. She sees Maggie open the fence gate as Glenn watches out for stray walkers. Maggie finally closes the fence quickly as the Hunyadi drives down the road and out of view. Her heart dies. It's the last time she'll ever see him she fears. She places her hand against the window, "I love you Daryl" she says softly under her breath.


	12. Handcuffed

**Handcuffed  
**

Warning: contains extreme derogatory racial slurs used for drama and to develop Merle's character. Takes place right before "The Suicide King"

When Daryl and Shafiq finally reach the pharmacy Daryl pulls up with caution. He looks around checking for walkers before the two men get out of the car. "Be careful." He says to Shafiq holding his bow at the ready.

"It should be safe. No one knows about this place that I know of." Shafiq says

"You can never be too wary."

"I hear that." Shafiq says as he pulls a canvas messenger bag that they brought to carry the medicine in out of the back seat and places the strap over his shoulder.

The two men enter the door of the pharmacy. It's a little dusty but cleaner than Daryl had pictured it. Daryl immediately jumps behind the counter and goes to work looking for antibiotics. Shafiq follows suit.

Daryl whistles at Shafiq, holding a large bottle of pills up. Shafiq holds open the messenger bag like a child trick-or-treating as Daryl fills the bag with as many antibiotics as it will hold. Shafiq closes the flap over the bag and they both jump back over the counter. "Shouldn't we look for other medicine before we leave?" Shafiq says

"We don't have time. If we need anything else we'll come back later." Daryl says thinking of Rick.

Suddenly the doors swing open and the dimly lit store is filled with light.

Both men turn around to see the Governor with several of his henchmen, including Merle and Martinez, standing in the doorway. They had spotted them on the road and cleverly followed them without being noticed.

Shafiq drops the messenger bag on the floor and raises his hands towards the ceiling.

"Well, well, well look what we have here." Merle whistles. "If it isn't my sweet baby brother hangin' out with a raghead."

"Is it true what you did to Glenn and Maggie?" Daryl scowls

"Yeah it's true baby brother. Don't you worry we're gonna bring you back with us. Time to kick off them high heels make a man of you."

"We're not goin' anywhere." Daryl says as his mind pictures Rick lying in bed covered with sweat, in desperate need of medicine.

Daryl stands in front of Shafiq shielding him from the Governor's henchmen as he holds up his bow towards Merle.

"You better come with us or the camel humper gets it." Merle says pointing his gun directly at Shafiq's head from across the room. "What's it gonna be Darlina?"

"We'll count to three" the Governor says.

"One"

"Noo" Daryl cries out as if he was in pain. His mind thinks about how much Rick likes Shafiq.

"Two" Daryl flashes on Glenn's face all beaten up

"Three"

"Okay" Daryl says as he throws his bow at Merle's feet. Before there's any time to think Merle grabs Daryl and turns him around.

"Cuff him" The Governor says.

"Now we don't have to do that." Merle says to the Governor.

"I said cuff him!"

Martinez quickly goes behind Daryl. He pulls both of Daryl's arms behind his back and places a pair of handcuffs on his wrists.

Merle looks at Shafiq and gestures a salute, "As-salaam Ahab" Merle says as he and the Governors group walk through the doors in a flash leaving Shafiq standing alone in the middle of the pharmacy, his arms still raised to the ceiling. Shafiq breathes heavily as he realizes how close he just came to death. "_You're so stupid Shafiq. You're so stupid_" he says out loud scolding himself. "_Get it together, Shafiq._" He says finally as he takes a deep breath and composes himself. He quickly grabs the canvas messenger bag full of antibiotics that they just collected. He puts the strap over his shoulder and checks the door for any sign of the Governor or his men. It's clear and he runs towards the Hunyadi. Sweat dripping down his forehead, He quickly puts the key in the ignition and heads back towards the prison.

Back at the prison he gives the bag of antibiotics to Hershel as he explains what happened. Hershel immediately gives Rick the strongest antibiotics in the bag. Shafiq stands over Rick's bed watching as Hershel holds a bottle of water over Rick's mouth, feeding him like a baby. "Get better Rick, we need you." He says, his voice pained with emotion.

* * *

Days later Rick is finally feeling well enough to eat. It's dinner time and he comes into the kitchen to find everyone sitting around eating a meal that Glenn and Maggie have prepared for the group. "Rick!" Glenn says out loud when he sees him. Everyone gathers around Rick excited that's he's well enough to walk. "Come sit down. I'll fix you a plate," Maggie says. Rick sits across the table from Hershel. Hershel looks at him and gives him the biggest grin. "I knew you'd make it" He says.

"Well I have Daryl and Shafiq to thank for that."

The room suddenly gets quiet. Rick still doesn't know about Daryl.

"Where is Daryl anyways?" He asks as he takes a bite of food.

Hershel looks across the table at Shafiq. He looks back at Rick and slowly tells him what happened.

Rick looks down at the table after taking in every word Hershel says. "Daryl" he says softly under his breath. He looks back up at Hershel, "I'm going back for him" He says determinedly

"Now hang on a minute son, you're not well enough to go anywhere."

"Then I'll go in a few days when I _am_ well enough. You'll let me know right Hershel?" He asks pleading

Hershel looks at Rick, silent at first. He nods his head. He doesn't like it but he knows there's no way he can keep Rick here.

The next few days are a challenge for Rick. He takes the antibiotics Hershel gives him religiously. He eats as much as he can to regain his strength. He spends every day in the prison gym working out to regain his muscle. He devises a plan with Shafiq to return to Woodbury. When the time comes and after Hershel feels Rick is well enough to give him the ok, Rick decides that it would be best if Shafiq stays on at the prison. Shafiq agrees to stay behind and keep watch over the others. Rick, Maggie, Glenn and Michonne leave the Prison for Woodbury to retrieve Daryl. It's a rescue mission.


	13. The Man He Loves

**The Man He Loves**

Summary: Rick can't stand to see Daryl leave with Merle so he makes one of the toughest decisions he's ever made. Takes place during the events of The Suicide King. Contains some canon. I do not own anything this is just a tribute.

The morning air is thick with moisture as dew covers the foliage. Glenn and Michonne waited all night for Rick and the others to return with Daryl. Michonne leans her body against the Hyundai, half asleep. Her eyes half lidded. Rick thought it was best to separate the group and have Glenn and Michonne wait for them by the car. Glenn stands up when he hears rustling in the woods. "Rick, Rick Oh thank god." He enters the small clearing in the woods, so excited to see Rick., Maggie and Daryl return only to be shocked at seeing Merle trailing behind the group.

"Now we got a problem here I need you to back up." Rick says

"What the hell is he doing here?" Glenn says as he holds up his weapon.

Commotion suddenly breaks out as Michonne quickly wields her katana sword. "He tried to kill me!" She yells.

"No he helped us get out of there." Daryl says defending his brother.

Tension is elevated as more exchanges are made "Enough!" Rick finally screams

"Hey get that thing out of my face." Daryl says to Glenn as he pushes the gun away.

"Look like you're goin native brother." Merle says leaning against a tree.

"Yeah no more than you hangin out with that psycho back there."

"Oh yeah, he is a charmer I'll tell you that. Been putting the wood to your girlfriend Andrea big time baby." Merle says as he sticks his tongue out salaciously at Michonne.

"Andrea's alive?" Glenn says as Maggie looks on in shock.

Rick turns to Michonne questioning her, "You know Andrea?"

* * *

"It won't work" Rick says to Daryl

"It's gotta" Daryl says

"It'll stir things up" Rick argues

Daryl looks into Rick's eyes, "The Governor's probably already on the way to the prison right now. Merle knows how he thinks and we could use the muscle."

"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol, Beth?" Glen exclaims

"He aint a rapist!"

"His buddy is."

"They aint buddies no more not after last night."

Rick interrupts "There's no way Merle's gonna live there without putting everybody at each others' throats."

"So you're gonna cut Merle loose after he helped us get out of there?"

"You wouldn't even have been there if it wasn't for Merle!" Rick shouts

Daryl looks at Rick, frustrated, "Merle's blood. He only did what he thought was right."

"No Merle's _your_ blood. My blood, my family is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison." Glen says sincerely

Rick looks deep into Daryl's eyes "And you're part of that family. But he's not."

Daryl looks back at Rick. He knows what Rick means but also knows that Rick doesn't understand. He feels as though Merle only came and took him because he's his brother and he cares about him. He feels a sense of betrayal from his friend. "Man y'all don't know." He finally says exasperated. "Fine, we'll fend for ourselves."

"That's not what I was saying." Glen says

"No him, no me." Daryl says as he turns and walks towards the Hunyadi to collect his things and leave.

Rick can't believe what he is hearing. He watches in shock as Daryl walks away. Rick's mind flashes back to Daryl in the prison shower. The stream rising up in the dimly lit room. Daryl's back covered with scars. He never asked Daryl what they were from because he didn't want to pry. In a way nothing really needed to be explained. Rick knew Daryl had a hard life before this. He knew Daryl was neglected and abused. And now he understood that Daryl and Merle had a special bond because they must have shared that horrible experience.

"Hey" Rick says chasing after his friend. Daryl keeps walking."Daryl, you don't have to do this. There's got to be another way." Rick says walking beside him, pleading.

"Maybe this is the perfect thing for us now." Daryl says as he walks, "I mean, I know how much you like Shafiq."

"Daryl it's not like that." Rick scowls "You mean to tell me that after everything we've been through together you're just gonna leave me like some fuck buddy?"

Daryl remains silent not answering.

Rick watches in dismay as Daryl grabs his belongings out of the trunk of the Hunyadi. "Daryl I.." He pauses for a moment before continuing abruptly, "_I love you_. Daryl please don't leave me now, not like this. You know we can't have Merle here, not after what he's done." His voice full of emotion.

Daryl looks up at Rick, "No him, no me. Take care of yourself. Take care of lil asskicker…and Carl. He's one tough kid."

Rick watches as Daryl turns and walks into the woods towards his brother waiting for him. Rick's stomach is tied up in knots. He feels as if he's watching a scene in slow motion. The moment is fleeting. An epiphany comes over him and he realizes that _this is the man he loves_ walking out of his life. He has to do something quickly or he'll never see him again, "Daryl!" Rick calls out one last time as Daryl keeps walking, "Okay!" Rick finally yells out urgently. Daryl stops in his tracks and turns around. Rick looks directly into Daryl eyes from a distance. The two men connect. "Okay." Rick says more softly. "He can come with us just…please don't leave." He says with emotion as his eyes well up. Daryl looks at Merle and tilts his head gesturing for him to follow. Daryl walks towards Rick until they are face to face and unexpectedly wraps his arms around Rick almost knocking him over. Rick returns the hug tightly, "I can't loose you man." Rick says softly into his friend's ear.

Daryl gently pulls away enough to look into Rick's face. "But what about the group? They'll never accept him."

Rick reaches up and tenderly strokes the side of Daryl's cheek. "We'll figure something out…..together."

"Aww aint that sweet." Merle finally says sarcastically.

Daryl breaks the hug and turns around "Man shut up!" He says scolding his brother.


	14. It's Never Goodbye With Us

**It's Never Goodbye With Us  
**

Summary: Rick and Daryl's relationship is strained after Daryl shows his loyalty to Merle. Hershel & Merle have a heart to heart. Takes place immediately after "Home." Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash.

The group is gathered around planning what to do next after The Governor and his henchmen have impaired the prison. Rick has Merle locked in one of the cells. Merle insists that the Governor will be back to spill blood. Hershel wants to leave the prison. It's been too compromised. He insists that Rick clear his head and stay the leader that they've come to know so well despite Rick's grief. "You once said this wasn't a democracy anymore. You've got to own up to that." He looks at Rick with sad and tried eyes. "Rick I know how you feel. I almost turned this group away from my farm just like you turned away Tyreese's group. But I know now that was the wrong decision." Rick can't bear to listen anymore so he turns to leave. Outside and alone he can clear his thoughts, he thinks to himself. Daryl lets Rick leave at first but then quickly goes after him. He finds Rick outside surveying the prison through his binoculars. Rick hears Daryl's footsteps approaching from behind but doesn't react. He keeps a steady lookout, binoculars in hand close to his eyes. He still feels torn that Daryl would ever decide to leave the group for Merle. More importantly he feels betrayed that Daryl would ever leave him for Merle.

"I remember when I picked those up for you out on the road."

"Yeah" Rick says as looks across the prison field.

"You fell in love with them the minute I put them in your hand."

"They are really nice ones." Rick says as he pulls the binoculars away from his face and shakes them in his hand.

"You're not mad at me cuz of Merle are you?"

Rick looks at Daryl. He doesn't know how to answer because he's not sure how he feels.

"There's nothing to say about it now. Merle's here. It's done."

"Then you _are_ mad?"

"I'm not mad, Daryl. I get it. He's family. He's not the best of character but he's your brother."

"Merle's blood, he's my friend." Daryl interjects.

Rick looks into Daryl's sky blue eyes., "I'm your friend too, Daryl. If you only knew how I feel about you."

"But I _do_ know. Why else do you think I've got your back all the time?"

"But..you were gonna leave me."

"I wasn't _really_ gonna leave." He reaches up and tousles Rick's hair. "I dunno, maybe I was just tryin to teach you a lesson."

"What lesson?"

Daryl places a hand on Rick's shoulder, "That together we make the best team, me and you." Daryl says, his face stern, "And no matter what, it's never goodbye with us."

Rick smiles, "It isn't is it?"

He places a hand behind Daryl's head and pulls it towards his. Their lips meet and Rick feels those wonderful sparks that he's come to know so well. The feeling is mutual as Daryl's toes curl. Daryl moves placing kisses on the side of Rick's face.

"You came and got me without a second thought." He whispers into Rick's ear, "_You saved me_." He says as he places kisses on Rick's neck. Rick leans his head back and enjoys the sensation of Daryl's mouth all over him. The mixture of soft caresses and the scratchy beard is breathtaking.

He grabs Daryl's head in his hands and looks deeply into his eyes. "Daryl, promise me you won't ever leave me." He pleads, breathing heavily.

"I promise Rick. You have my word." Daryl says softly. Rick places a deep kiss on his lips aggressively. Their heart rates increase as their passion unfolds for each other. The bond between them is unbreakable. Nothing can disconnect them now. No apocalypse, or walkers, or Governor. Rick knows Daryl's face, every curve, every crease. He knows his heart and his mind. He knows his touch. The two men are like polar opposites but indistinguishable from one another at the same time.

* * *

Merle is in his cell tinkering with his knife that covers his stump.

Hershel comes into his cell and they are introduced to each other for the first time. The two men share their stories of how each lost his limb. In some odd way it gives them an unexpected commonality. "If Rick hadn't acted quickly I would have turned. I owe him a lot for that. It allowed me to spend more time with my girls. What Rick has done has allowed you more time to spend with your brother."

"Yeah the two of them have gotten _real_ close I can tell. Snug as two bugs."

Hershel turns and looks out the prison bars. He and the rest of the group know of Rick and Daryl's relationship by now and _no one_ is judgmental here. "They are close but it is not for us to judge. I am a man of God and if I can accept two men who love each other then so can you."

"Yeah well, Rick has made my baby brother weak. Turned him into a pansy."

Hershel takes out a bible. "You know I lost a lot more than my farm. At one time I lost my way. He opens the bible and looks down at the page, "Samuel 1:26, David and Jonathan." He says aloud. He begins to read a quote. "_I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women."_ Merle finishes the quote at the same time and Hershel looks at him surprised.

"Woodbury had a damn fine library. About the only thing I miss about it." Merle explains.


	15. Hold On

**Hold On  
**

Summary: After Andrea leaves the prison Rick and Daryl talk quietly in the dark. Takes place during "I Ain't a Judas" Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Slash. Contains lyrics to the song "Hold On" by Tom Waits.

It's late at night in the prison and all is dark. After Andrea has left, the group sits in a circle quietly. Several candles on the ground softly illuminate their space. Everyone is still surprised from the days events and the realization that Andrea is still alive. Beth looks around at the faces of the group and slowly starts to sing.

_"They hung a sign up in our town_  
_if you live it up, you won't live it down_  
_So, she left Monte Rio, son_  
_Just like a bullet leaves a gun_  
_Charcoal eyes and Monroe hips_  
_She went and took the California trip_  
_Well, the moon was gold and her hair like wind_  
_Said don't look back just come on Jim._

_You've got to_  
_Hold on, Hold on_  
_You've got to hold on_  
_Take my hand, I'm standing right here_  
_You gotta hold on"_

As the group listens to the sound of Beth's singing. Her voice is sweet and innocent. There is an indescribable pureness to it as it echoes throughout their cellblock. Their new home. Their tomb. Daryl and Rick lean up against the bars of one of the cells and talk quietly as Beth sings. Rick is holding Judith in his arms as she sleeps peacefully.

"That was some reunion huh?" Daryl says as he looks at Rick's face in the moonlight. A small stream of light beams across Rick's check and Daryl can see the stubble of a man hardened by this world. Guilt rises up in him as he regrets trying to leave with Merle, even though if he had, he always intended to come back. He knows he never would really leave Rick. Not now, not ever.

"I'm goin on a run tomorrow to look for more ammo. We're gonna need it if anything happens with this Governor."

"I'll go with you."

"No I want you to stay here, keep an eye on your brother. Daryl, you know I love you and I'm glad you're here but if he causes a problem it's on you. I'll take Michonne."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"I'll find out. And I'm taking Carl. He's ready. You'll hold it down here?"

"You got it." Even in this dim light Daryl can see the blue of Rick's eyes.

Beth's singing still gently echoes off the walls.

_"Well, he gave her a dimestore watch_  
_And a ring made from a spoon_  
_Everyone's looking for someone to blame_  
_If you share my bed, you share my name_  
_Well, go ahead and call the cops_  
_You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops_  
_She said baby, I still love you_  
_Sometimes there's nothin left to do_

_You've got to_  
_Hold on, Hold on_  
_You've got to hold on_  
_Take my hand, I'm standing right here_  
_You gotta hold on"_

Daryl sees the concern in Rick's eyes. "Hey, Rick it'll be okay. We're gonna be just fine." He whispers softly. His voice is so sweet and low and Rick feels a tinge in his heart at the sound of it. He reaches out and gently strokes Rick's arm. As always, Rick is soothed by Daryl's comforting words as he gently rocks Judith. Daryl leans in and kisses Rick on the cheek tenderly. His lips are soft and Rick enjoys the sensation. He's thankful Daryl didn't leave him.

Daryl looks at Rick's face and thinks about the man Rick used to be. The clean shaven cop, the man he fell in love with back in Atlanta. He's still that man, only stronger, better.

Beth's voice continues its resonance through the prison.

_"When there's nothing left to keep you here,_

_When you're falling behind in this big blue world_  
_You've got to hold on, hold on_  
_You got to hold on_  
_Take my hand, I'm standing right here, you got to hold on."_


	16. Those Damn Blue Eyes

**Those Damn Blue Eyes  
**

**Rating: MA**

Summary: Rick asks Daryl something he's never asked him before. Takes place during the events of "This Sorrowful Life" (season 3 episode 15) Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash. **Warning:** **contains extreme sexual and content and gratuitous violence.**

Rick finds Daryl and tells him the deal with the Governor is off, he can't go through with it, it's just not them.

"It's a smart choice." Daryl says, noticing something is wrong with Rick.

"I can't find Merle and Michonne."

Daryl leads Rick back to where he last saw Merle. They find that Merle led Michonne into the engine room and he was able to capture her.

"I'm gonna go find him," Rick says

"You can't track for shit."

"Okay then we'll both go."

"No, I'll do it alone. It makes no sense for the both of us to go."

"Daryl, no way," Rick reaches out and holds Daryl's hand tightly. "We do this together."

Daryl looks into Rick's sky blue eyes and nods. There's no way he can resist those damn blue eyes. Rick places a hand behind Daryl's head and gently pulls his face towards his. They kiss softly for a moment before Rick finally asks Daryl something he's never asked before.

"You know, we never actually had sex yet."

"I know" Daryl replies

"Would you ever?" Rick voice trails off. So unsure of what Daryl might say.

"Of course I want to buddy. I just wasn't sure if _you_ wanted to."

"Oh I want to." Rick says. They kiss for a few more moments until Rick pulls Daryl and they head off into Rick's cell. The cell block is quiet. Everyone in the group is either out on watch duty or performing tasks. They have the whole place to themselves.

Rick pulls his mattress off the bed and throws it onto the floor. He places a jar of Vaseline on the floor next to the mattress as Daryl eyes the container. "Me and Lori used to use this during the real pregnant months when she was having Carl" He says.

They take their jeans and underwear off quickly. Their bare, hairy legs face each other. Daryl lays onto the mattress on his back and lifts his legs; his heartbeat is racing. Rick looks at Daryl's opening and whistles. "That's the prettiest thing I've ever seen, Daryl" Rick says as he gets on his knees and positions himself towards Daryl's pink hole. "I've been wanting to get inside you ever since I saw you at the Atlanta camp." Rick confesses.

Daryl gives Rick a grin and willingly puts his feet over Rick's shoulders. Rick looks into Daryl's eyes as he places the tip of his member at Daryl's opening. It brushes up against the soft tissue; teasing it. Daryl uses his muscles to open himself up. "Go ahead buddy, I'm ready," He says.

"No condom?"

"We're all infected right?"

Rick laughs gently as he leans down and kisses Daryl on the lips hard. "I love you, buddy." He says passionately.

Rick dips his fingers into the jar of Vaseline and scoops out a generous amount of the goo. He lubricates his entire shaft, paying special attention to the head. He doesn't want Daryl to feel any pain. He returns to Daryl's hole placing his head at its opening. He pushes himself in, gently at first; millimeter by millimeter pushing in gently then pulling out. Daryl loosens up quickly and Rick slowly pushes himself all the way inside for the first time. Waves of pleasure go through Daryl's body. He leans his head back and moans with pleasure.

"Are you okay buddy?" Rick asks.

"Oooh yeah, oh my god please don't stop buddy, keep going." Daryl had felt this before but it was always wrong and twisted. For the first time in his life it was right. Everything fit into place. It was perfect. The pleasure was intense.

Rick pulls his length out so just the tip remains inside and then pushes himself back in. "Oooohhh" Daryl moans again as he starts to squirm. Rick repeats his movements again and again. He leans down and kisses Daryl again on the lips and then places kisses all over Daryl's face. "Oh my god Daryl I never thought it could feel this good." He grabs Daryl's cock which is now fully hard and twitching; pointing up towards his belly button. His hand is still greasy from the Vaseline and he strokes Daryl up and down. He squeezes Daryl's glands and the sensitive tissue throbs under his touch.

"Oh buddy I'm gonna cum" Daryl says abruptly.

Rick quickly eases off Daryl "I want to cum inside you first." He says

"Okay buddy"

Rick leans down and holds his body against Daryl's. Chest to chest. Pumping inside him; his orgasm comes quickly and he pumps Daryl full with his load. "_He is part of me now_" Rick thinks to himself. He stays inside Daryl as his hand returns to Daryl's member. He strokes the shaft lovingly then gives the head quick, short strokes. Daryl cums quickly. The first blast squirts over Daryl's head as Rick points the hard member up and flicks his thumb against the sensitive underside. Rick points Daryl's cock directly at his own mouth. Rick opens his mouth as several ropes of Daryl's jizz hit him in the face. The two men look at each other catching their breath. Rick feels Daryl's orgasm subside as his cock gets soft in his hand. Rick looks down and smiles at Daryl as he slowly pulls himself out of his best friend. He licks as much of Daryl's cum off his face ass he can reach with his tongue. Daryl smiles at Rick, "You look so good frosted buddy." He says. They both laugh. This was the best time they've had since the zombie apocalypse started.

"Come on, let's go find your brother" Rick finally whispers into Daryl's ear.

* * *

Rick and Daryl take the Hunyadi to the designated place where they suspect Merle has taken Michonne. As they pull up to the meeting place they see dead bodies strewn about the silos. "Something major has gone down here and we missed it." Rick says. He parks the car and both men get out quickly. Daryl holds his bow at the ready, carefully keeping an eye out for any stray walkers. The two men quietly make their way towards the building close to them. There's a dead walker on the ground by the doorway. Rick crouches down and checks the body seeing a knife wound in its forehead. "Merle" Rick says as he looks at Daryl. Suddenly Merle jumps out of the doorway and grabs Rick from behind, holding a gun to his temple with his one good hand. He has Rick in a chokehold with his stump arm. Rick drops his weapon in the commotion. Rick desperately attempts to unlock Merle's chokehold but to no avail. Rick can barely breathe as he makes choking noises trying to catch a breath.

"I'm gonna kill him, Daryl."Merle shouts as Daryl holds his bow up. "Believe me. I've been wanting to do it ever since I got here, just been waitin for a chance. He cuffed me to that roof. Made me cut my hand off."

"Let him go Merle" Daryl yells firmly. Merle and Daryl stand feet apart from each other in a classic stand off. "We went back for ya Merle, I can prove it." Daryl says, not letting his finger off his bow's trigger.

"How?" Merle asks, pulling Rick in tighter.

"We found the stove where you cauterized your wrist. I smelled the burned flesh myself in the room."

"Oooh well big woop-di-do." Merle says sarcastically, "I know why he went back. He only went back for me cuz he's got a thing for you, baby bro. He don't give a shit about me! He woulda been fine to leave me up there on that roof and _starve to death_. Aint that right, officer friendly?" He says as he squeezes Rick's neck tighter and presses the barrel of the gun harder against Rick's temple.

"It's not true. We went back for you. I did right by you." Rick says through gritted teeth

"Liar!" Merle shouts.

"So what if it _is_ true? It doesn't change anything." Rick chokes out breathlessly.

"It changes _everything_. It's always been me and my brother before all this. Before you two decided to become bunk buddies. You made him weak, turned him into a pansy."

"Bullshit" Rick says as loud as he can; his voice is strangled.

"Merle stop it right now. Let him go."

"You're gonna have to choose, baby bro."

"It's okay Daryl. If you want to be with your brother I'll understand." Rick says defeated, through shallow breath. He loves Daryl so much that in this moment he'd let go. He would give up. Let everything he's fought for go for Daryl's happiness. "Daryl, you don't have to make a decision. The only thing that matters to me is that you're happy." Rick says, his voice is almost a whisper as Merle keeps his chokehold tightly around Rick's neck.

"No!" Daryl yells as he squints his eyes. He holds his bow steady. Aimed directly at Merle's head. "Merle, don't make me choose."

"Daryl look at me." Rick says. Daryl looks directly at Rick and their blue eyes meet. "I love you." He chokes out. His voice raspy as if he had no breath left in his body. No will. Tears stream down his cheeks.

"Shut up, pig!" Merle screams as he looks at Rick and violently shakes him.

In a split second Daryl pulls the trigger and his arrow flies directly into Merle's head. It makes a "crack" noise as it pierces Merle's skull and goes through his brain. Merle falls to the ground with a slump leaving Rick standing breathless. Daryl immediately runs over to Rick and wraps his arms around him so tightly it knocks the wind out of his already exhausted lungs. Rick hugs Daryl back and the two men hold each other, crying, for the next few moments. There are no words, just raw emotion. They finally break the embrace and Daryl reaches up and runs his fingers lightly over Rick's neck. Rick feels the pain from the touch and knows the muscle will be bruised for a while but he can't think about that now. He sees the look in Daryl's eyes. "I'll be alright." He says before Daryl can even ask him if he's okay. They suddenly hear the sound of shuffling feet and the slow growls. "Walkers." Rick whispers. "We gotta get out of here now." Daryl grabs Rick's arm and slings it over his neck as they quickly leave the area. Rick looks back to see a group of walkers crowd around Merle's dead body. As he looks back he sees one walker grab Merle's neck and rip out his windpipe. Blood is everywhere. Another walker rips Merle's stomach open and the other walkers all lean in eating the bloody flesh and organs like a buffet. "Keep going Daryl, don't look back." Daryl is practically dragging Rick along. He'd carry him if he had to.

Daryl opens the passenger side of the Hunyadi and helps Rick into the car. "I'll drive." He says.

"Good idea." Rick replies as Daryl gets into the drivers seat. As they drive off a small group of walkers trail after them making unsuccessful attempts to grab the vehicle.


End file.
